Plan B is the new Plan A
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
