No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
