i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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