oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
