At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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