Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
