A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
