..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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