Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
