NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
