Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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