I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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