found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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