wrigley field is MILF paradise
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
