you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
