worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize