please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
