Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
no, he came in my armpit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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