There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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