You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
