Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
