$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
