remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize