I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
