That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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