so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
