so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
