Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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