just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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