dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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