butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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