he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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