I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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