I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That's intense
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
