I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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