We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
