sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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