i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
