so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
