Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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