Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
