You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
