when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
