The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
