I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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