Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
