you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
