I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
