Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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