it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
