dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
