just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
