My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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