I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the day after is always just damage control
This house was built for laser tag.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
