Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize