What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
