none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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