come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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