he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
