You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
