He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
