Quick, to the slutcave!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
