you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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