you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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