Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
