I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
