you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
dude. I can hear the air.
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