I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
