At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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