i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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