Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
