he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize